“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Well today I yam the poster of more puns.
Keep your groans handy, you might need ‘em.
Enjoy or endure.
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You can say what you like
about freedom of speech.
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I would love to dance at a metric party,
but I have two left 0.305 meters.
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Waiters are good at multiplication
because they know their tables.
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I accidentally grabbed a
live electric cable yesterday.
It really Hertz.
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Capital punishment.
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I used to work at a car garage
that had a jet wash.
It was pointless,
there was nowhere for them to land.
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I got a 24 hour clock from
a garage sale for only 10/c.
They’ll be so mad,
it’s lasted far longer.
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I’m in court accused of the murders of
Dracula and Monte Cristo.
I’m pleading guilty to both Counts.
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There’s a Muslim in the street carrying a gun.
Police say he’s Ahmed and dangerous.
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My ex girlfriend text to say that
she’d made a voodoo doll of me.
I think she’s pulling my leg.
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I used to have a job in the police force,
in which I’d break into secure
computer files to uncover criminal activity.
That was until I was met by one system
that proved I wasn’t up to the job.
I just couldn’t hack it.
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Driving home, I noticed I had a
police car right up my ass.
Must have a word with my nephew
about leaving his toys lying around.
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I’d been worrying about my
geography exam for a long time.
When I sat down to take it,
the first question read;
“What is the correct term for any wind that
blows between 4 and 30 miles per hour?”
I don’t know what I was worried about.
It was a breeze.
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I was so nervous when I met my
future father-in-law that i blurted out,
“Sir, May I have your daughters
hole in handy matrimony?”
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What do you call a bunch of
kleptomaniacs with musical instruments?
A Steal Band.
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Filed under: comedy, Humour, Language, Puns Tagged: 24 hour clock, Ahmed, amusing, bad jokes, breeze, bunch, capital punishment, car, car boot, Comedy, correct term, court, criminal activity, dance, dangerous, dracula, driving, electric cable, Entertainment, ex-girlfriend, father-in-law, freedom of speech, funny, garage, geography exam, gun, hack it, Hertz, Humor, Humour, jet wash, job, jokes, kleptomaniacs, matrimony, metres, Monte Cristo, multiplication, murders, musical instruments, Muslim, nephew, nervous, party, pleading guilty, police, police car, police force, pulling my leg, pun, pun day, punishment, puns, question, secure computer files, silly jokes, Steal Band, steel band, street, stupid, stupid jokes, sweet potato, system, tables, text, toys, up to the job, voodoo doll, waiters, wind, word play, word plays, work, yam
